Medscape UK Doctors and Friendships Report 2023
How doctors feel about friendships at home, at work, and when mixing the two? Do doctors socialise with co-workers? Do they socialise with patients? And what gets in the way of them making and maintaining friendships?
We surveyed 1027 UK doctors from September to December 2022 to find out.
Medscape UK Doctors and Friendships Report 2023
We asked doctors how many friends they had – not including 'strictly social media friends'. One in three (33%) doctors said they have 16 or more friends, 1 in 2 doctors reported having up to 10 friends, whilst 1 in 33 (3%) said that they were 'Billy no mates', having no friends at all. The patterns were similar for GPs and hospital doctors.
Male doctors were twice as likely to report having no friends than female doctors (4% versus 2%), with doctors aged 45 years and over four times more likely to report this than those under 45 years of age (4% vs 1%).
When asked if they had a best friend – which did not include a spouse/romantic partner – marginally more doctors responded 'Yes' (55%) than 'No' (45%). There was a clinically statistical difference in those under-45 who more likely to say 'Yes' (60%) than 'No' (53%), and in the 45s and overs more likely to say 'No' (47%) than 'Yes' (40%). However, other factors – such as whether a doctor was male or female, or worked in hospital or general practice – made no difference.
Medscape UK Doctors and Friendships Report 2023
Around 1 in 10 (9%) doctors were not close to any friends, with this being around twice as likely for male than female doctors (11% vs 6%). This situation was 25% more likely if a doctor worked in a hospital rather than in general practice (10% vs 8%), and if a doctor was aged 45 and over (10% vs 8%).
Just over 1 in 2 (56%) said they were close to between 1-5 friends, with this being the case for around 20% more female doctors than male doctors (60% vs 52%). Regardless of whether a doctor worked in general practice or in a hospital – or the doctor's age – similar numbers reported being close to this number of friends.
But 60% of doctors, both male and female, reported having friends of a different gender. This was true of all ages, and whether they worked in general practice or in hospital.
Asked about which one category most of their close friends fell into – work friends, childhood friends, secondary school/6th form friends, university friends, other, or none of these - 1 in 3 (34%) said 'university friends', with this being the case for 50% more under-45s (45% vs 30%).
Hospital doctors were 50% more likely to say 'work friends' than those doctors working in general practice (21% vs 14%), with this being similar for 45 and overs compared with under-45s (21% vs 13%).
Under-45s were twice as likely as 45 and overs to say 'secondary school/6th form friends' with 13% reporting this compared with 7%, respectively.
Medscape UK Doctors and Friendships Report 2023
In life we often gravitate to those who are similar to us, with regards our views, behaviours, or background, for example. When asked how much the doctors surveyed agreed with the statement "My friends and I come from similar backgrounds (education, finances, etc.)", over half (57%) of respondents said that they agreed/slightly agreed with this statement. Around 1 in 4 (24%) disagreed/slightly disagreed, and 1 in 5 (19%) sat on the fence neither agreeing nor disagreeing. These sentiments were similar whether a doctor worked in general practice or in a hospital, and whether they were female or male.
Two out of three respondents (65%) said that their friends were almost the same age/from the same generation, with 1 in 5 (21%) saying this was not the case for them. In fact, those aged 45 and over were four times more likely to report the latter – 11% versus 3%.
Medscape UK Doctors and Friendships Report 2023
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, but how often does work get in the way of maintaining friendships? For 1 in 5 (19%) under-45s this was always the case, whereas fewer (13%) older doctors felt this way.
Concerningly, only around 1 in 3 (35%) of all doctors surveyed felt that work rarely or never got in the way of maintaining friendships, with the same proportion saying that family obligations rarely or never got in the way.
"I often have to log on and work from home on my days off," said one respondent. "Missing opportunities to meet with friends."
When asked what the biggest challenges were in maintaining close friendships, time was the overwhelming reason, specifically, not enough of it. Around 7 out of 10 doctors (69%) cited this reason, it being a similar situation for hospital and general practice doctors alike. Female doctors were more likely to feel this than their male counterparts (72% versus 64%), and under-45s more than 45 and overs (76% vs 65%).
Other common explanations given were that maintaining close friendships "required too much energy" and "growing apart", which were reasons that particularly resonated with under-45s (38% and 34%, respectively). Female doctors especially (29%), felt that maintaining close friendships "requires too much energy".
Another respondent commented: "I'm working overtime every weekend and barely keeping on top of managing the home, husband, and dogs. I don’t have time or energy for anything or anyone else".
"I often have to work when friends are gathering. Particularly reuniting my main social group, all of who are doctors, has proved impossible for years now," explained another.
Male doctors felt that a "lack of communication" was a significant reason, with around one-quarter (24%) reporting this, compared to 17% of female doctors.
On a more positive note, around 1 in 8 (12%) doctors said that they didn't have any challenges maintaining close friendships.
Medscape UK Doctors and Friendships Report 2023
Around 1 in 10 (12%) said that they wouldn't consider any of their co-workers as friends, with over twice as many under-45s (18%) as 45 and overs (8%) thinking this.
A similar number (10%) of respondents said they would consider 'almost all' of their co-workers as friends. This was the case for twice as many GPs as hospital doctors (18% vs 9%), and twice as many 45s and overs than under-45s (12% vs 6%).
When asked what the best description of a work friend was, the vast majority – roughly 4 out of 5 – of male and female GPs and hospital doctors said these were other doctors. This was significant in the under-45s, nearly all of whom (95%) said this. For around 1 in 5 respondents, it was nurses and other healthcare professionals, with administration personnel being friends at work for around 1 in 10 (9%) of those surveyed.
Around three quarters (74%) of doctors said they had friends at work that helped them with their job – this being more often the case for hospital doctors (75%) than GPs (64%), and those aged 45 and over.
When it came to having work friends with benefits – friends that bring opportunities their way, such as job offers, and side work, and so on – this never or only sometimes happened for 3 out of 10 respondents, but for a lucky 1 in a 100 (1%) it was something that happened 'constantly'.
Medscape UK Doctors and Friendships Report 2023
Asked for their views on friendships and work 1 in 3 (33%) said that they "like to keep my personal life and work life separate". This was the case for 20% more male doctors than female doctors (36% vs 30%), and twice as likely for the 45 and over age group (39% vs 20%).
Male doctors (14%), and doctors aged 45 years and over (13%), were also more likely not to make a distinction between work life and personal life, when compared to female doctors (8%) and younger doctors (5%). Overall, just over 1 in 10 (11%) of all those surveyed didn't make this distinction.
Work was seen as a place where a doctor "might meet someone" that they may hang out with during their personal time – despite not looking for this opportunity – by 4 out of 10 (39%), with this view being embraced by female doctors more than male doctors (45% versus 35%), and by almost 50% more younger doctors than older ones (49% vs 35%). However, only around 1 in 6 (17%) doctors said that they actually like to make and meet friends at work.
Over half (52%) of doctors said that they interact with work friends while at work 'Constantly/Frequently', whilst around 1 in 7 (14%) said 'Rarely/Never'. Frequent interaction was almost 50% more likely in a hospital setting than in general practice (42% vs 31%).
When it came to socialising with work friends outside of the workplace, this was something that 'Rarely/Never' took place for 4 out of 10 (41%) doctors, with female doctors over twice as likely to say that they never socialised with work friends outside of the workplace, than male doctors (7% vs 3%).
Medscape UK Doctors and Friendships Report 2023
It would appear that doctors may be finding it harder to form friendships. We asked, "How easy is it for you to make new friends at this stage in your life?" and found more than twice as many (43%) reported it as being 'Difficult/Very Difficult' when compared to the 20% who said it was 'Very Easy/Easy'. Under 45s were finding it more 'Difficult' than their older colleagues to make new friends (38% vs 30%).
"The pressure of my profession and the maintenance of relationships are often tied together which makes it difficult to begin and maintain friendships," highlighted one respondent.
Just over a third (37%) sat on the fence, saying it was "Neither easy nor difficult", this being the feeling for 25% more male doctors than female ones (40% vs 32%), and a third more 45 and overs than under-45s (40% vs 29%).
Medscape UK Doctors and Friendships Report 2023
It is probably no surprise to find that the majority (70%) of doctors we surveyed said that they 'Rarely/Never' argued with their close friends – with 1 in 5 never arguing, and 1 in 2 rarely doing so.
Female doctors and GPs were those for whom arguments were more likely to never happen (22% and 29%, respectively), with male doctors being three times more likely to frequently argue with close friends than female doctors (6% vs 2%).
A common trigger for disagreements is the thorny subject of politics, so we asked, "How much do you agree with the following: My friends and I agree on most of our political views". Almost half (47%) of respondents agreed or slightly agreed with this, with female doctors and the under-45s tending to agree with this statement more than male doctors and the 45 and overs, both groups of whom being more likely to disagree with the premise.
Medscape UK Doctors and Friendships Report 2023
The impact of the COVID pandemic has been far reaching, but how has it affected doctors’ friendships?
Although the majority (75%) of doctors surveyed said they had "about the same number of friends as pre-COVID", almost 1 in 5 (18%) reported having fewer friends, with this being the case for around 50% more doctors aged under-45 compared with older doctors (23% vs 16%).
"During Covid many so called 'friends' did not want to see me as they were afraid of 'catching COVID from me'. They all got COVID in the end, though not from NHS workers, but from people they considered 'safe'," said one respondent.
Around 1 in 7 (14%) doctors had lost friends to COVID. This was the case for almost 2.5 times as many male doctors as female doctors (19% vs 8%), and for over twice as many of those aged 45 and over than under-45s (16% vs 7%).
Asked if during COVID lockdown(s) work friends played a bigger role in their life, 57% said 'No', with male doctors responding in this way a third more than female doctors (66% vs 49%).
The majority of our survey respondents (74%) were on the same page with regards to their views on vaccination and/or treatment methods for COVID-19, with friendships remaining unaffected for 4 out of 5 (79%) doctors when their and their friend's viewpoint differed on this subject.
Medscape UK Doctors and Friendships Report 2023
In its guidance for good medical practice the General Medical Council (GMC) advises on how doctors can maintain a professional boundary between themselves and their patients.
When asked if they had ever become friends with a patient, the vast majority (85%) of doctors said they hadn't. Those who said that 'yes they had' (15%), were twice as likely to be male than female (20% vs 10%), and around four times as likely to be over the age of 45 (19% vs 5%).
"The relationship is never completely open and honest, on an even keel, as you are always the doctor," cautioned a respondent.
So, we asked, "Has your friendship with a patient ever been a barrier to making an objective diagnosis and/or prognosis?" For the overwhelming number of doctors (90%) the answer was 'No'. However, some doctors (4%) believed this to be the case for them, with it being the case for almost three times as many GPs as for specialists (8% vs 3%).
Medscape UK Doctors and Friendships Report 2023
"Could you take a look at this?", "I hope you don't mind me asking but should I be worried about….?", "I've got a friend who….". Doctors often find themselves in situations when friends seek their medical advice, and it can be difficult not to help them in their moment of need.
But are doctors bothered by medical questions from friends? Three-quarters (76%) of our respondents said 'No'. Male doctors, those aged 45 and over, and those working in hospital – 82%, 76%, and 75%, respectively – were most likely to feel this way.
Of the 1 in 4 who were bothered about being on the receiving end of friends' medical questions, GPs were more bothered than specialists about this – perhaps unsurprising given that as generalists GPs are more likely to be ear-bashed on a broader range of subjects.
One respondent explained: "Friend became a patient rather than the other way round. Asked them to see another colleague".
The GMC also states that "Wherever possible, you must avoid prescribing for yourself or anyone you have a close personal relationship with."
Bearing this in mind, we asked, "Should doctors avoid treating close friends?" Only around 1 in 8 (12%) felt this was the right thing to do, with male doctors over three times more likely to think this than female doctors (19% vs 6%). Perhaps due to the benefit of experience, older doctors were almost twice as likely to exhibit this belief (14% vs 8%). The remaining doctors were split roughly 50:50, with 44% believing that doctors should 'Always' avoid treating close friends, and 43% feeling that only when they felt that the 'friendship interfered with their capacity to be objective' was this the best course of action.
Following on from this, having found that around 1 in 10 doctors had said doctors should avoid treating close friends, it was probably not unexpected to find, when asked, that the vast majority – 9 out of 10 (90%) – of doctors surveyed said they had given medical advice to a friend.
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