What to Do With That Picky Eater

This is an exciting time in your toddler's life. He or she is constantly exploring the world and learning new activities. Your toddler is becoming more talkative and expressive, while gaining the ability to ask for and demand the things he or she wants. Essentially, your toddler is beginning to gain a sense of independence and separateness from you. Though this is exciting, it can be filled with frustration when your decisions and your desires are not the same as those of your toddler. Some of the most difficult situations may arise at meal and snack times when your toddler may refuse to eat or prefer to play rather than sitting at the table. These situations may seem unmanageable to you as a parent, but by understanding the reasons why picky eating occurs, you can begin to implement simple strategies to improve your child's eating behaviors.

What Do We Know about Picky Eating?

• A toddler is not growing as rapidly as he or she did in the first year of life. Therefore, a toddler may have a decrease in appetite resulting in decreased consumption of food. This will generally be reflected in a decrease in eating at meals and snack times.

• Young children possess an automatic mechanism that helps them regulate how much they ingest so they can sustain growth. In other words, when left to their own devices, a toddler will eat enough to give his or her body what it needs to grow.

• The introduction of new foods to a toddler can be a scary experience. We, as adults, know that it may take several tries to become comfortable with a new experience. Young children are no different when it comes to trying new foods. Toddlers may require frequent exposures to a new item before they will accept it.

• A toddler is just beginning to recognize himself or herself as a separate person from the parent and is struggling to gain some independence and control over the environment. He or she may attempt to gain this independence and control by testing the limits imposed by the parent, especially during mealtimes.

• Toddlers' eating patterns are influenced by the eating behaviors of their parents, siblings, and peers. The popular phrase, "children have a mind of their own," does not always hold true for the dietary decisions made by a toddler. The way you eat and the food choices you make will affect the choices your toddler makes.

Strategies to Make Meals and Snack Times More Enjoyable For You and Your Toddler

• Offer your toddler 2-3 food choices at snacks or meals. This allows your child to have some control over his or her eating patterns by choosing what to eat.

• Provide your toddler with appropriate smaller servings of foods so he or she does not feel overwhelmed. This may be a couple of tablespoons of vegetables or meat, or a half of a piece of fruit. Toddlers feel a sense of independence when they can finish all their food and ask for more.

• Give your toddler the appropriate equipment for eating. In other words, provide them with small utensils, plastic cups, and plates with a lip to allow food to be more easily scooped. Do not forget to seat your toddler in a position that allows him or her to reach everything easily and independently. Position your toddler's feet so they are supported and not dangling.

• Allow your toddler to develop his or her own tastes at his or her own pace. It may take ten or more exposures to a new food before a toddler will accept it. Be patient with this process.

• Your toddler will develop personal favorite foods. Make these foods occasionally, but resist the urge to make them all the time. Preparing your toddler's favorite meal all the time will encourage those picky eating habits and may lead to the avoidance of entire groups of foods.

• Schedule meals and snacks for approximately the same time each day. Toddlers need a routine and they should be expected to be cooperative with that schedule.

• Do not eliminate snacks between meals with the expectation that the toddler will eat more at the next meal. Toddlers do not understand the physical discomfort of hunger pains and may become irritable if snacks are eliminated.

• Make mealtimes family times. Eat at the table together and expect your toddler to sit with the family whether or not he or she is interested in eating. Research has demonstrated that eating dinner as a family has beneficial effects on diet quality and food choices later in life.

• Turn off the television and put away the games at mealtime. The toddler needs to have undivided attention for the task of eating and will tend to be more cooperative with sitting at the table if not distracted.

• Do not force your toddler to eat by punishing or threatening him or her. Your toddler is trying to assert his or his independence by testing the limits you have provided. Punishing the child or threatening to punish the child will only result in a power struggle that will worsen the picky eating habits.

• Give your toddler juice or milk as a part of meals and snacks. Offer him or her water in between these times. Toddlers require no more than 16-24 ounces of milk a day and should be limited to no more than 4-6 ounces of juice per day. Allowing a child to fill up on juice and milk throughout the day will cause a decrease in appetite, so the child may eat even less at meal times.

Meal and snack times should be fun and enjoyable for both you and your toddler, not times of frustration and irritation. By using a few of these simple suggestions, you will help improve your child's picky eating habits. Remember, you are your toddler's very best role model. Your healthy eating habits and your patience are the best way to ensure that your toddler develops healthy eating behaviors that will last a lifetime!

Elbert, P. (2001). Dr. Paula's good nutrition guide for babies, toddlers, and preschoolers. Cambridge, MA: Perseus Publishing.

There are three chapters on each of these age groups followed by general nutrition information. Letters from parents in her practice who ask feeding questions are followed by answers from Dr. Paula, a pediatrician. [$14.00]

Ellison, S., & Gray, T. (1995). 365 foods kids love to eat. Napierville, IL: Source Books, Inc.

This is a good recipe book encouraging children to eat nutritiously from baby foods, beverages, snacks, breakfast, sandwiches to salads, and more. Sections are included on healthful food substitutions and table management suggestions. [$12.95]

Karmel, A. (2001). The healthy baby meal planner. New York, NY: Simon and Shuster.

An accomplished cook (Cordon Blue School of Cooking graduate), the mother of three, and author of three other cookbooks provides interesting nutritional gourmet recipes for children 4 months through toddlerhood with basic information on nutritional needs. If toddlers will not eat, she suggests refrigerating the food for later. She also reinforces that toddlers like repetition, to assist with preparation, and an attractive presentation. She also encourages explaining that this is the meal and suggests providing nothing else. [$16]

Sears, W., & Sears, M. (1999). The family nutrition book. Boston, MA: Little, Brown, & Company.

A physician and nurse couple present a comprehensive guide on nutrition with information in the first chapters about fat, cholesterol, sugar, proteins, calcium, iron, vitamins, fiber, and water. The next three sections are on making wise food choices, feeding the picky eater, and trimming the family fat. This is a good reference for all nutrition questions in a family. Tips for feeding toddlers are given: offer a nibble (ice cube) tray, dip it, spread it, top it (cheese, peanut butter, yogurt), dunk it, cut it up, pack it, (AU: MAKE A?) veggie vendor, share it, respect tiny tummies, make it accessible, sit-still strategies, turn meals upside down, let them cook, make every calorie count, count on inconsistency, and relax. [$18.95]

Swinney, B. (1999). Healthy foods for healthy kids: A practical and tasty guide to your child's nutrition. New York, NY: Meadowbrook Press.

This registered dietician provides nutritional information in the first section and what to feed each age group in the second section. She includes discussions on each of the four food groups, snacks, eating out, and convenience foods with recipes scattered throughout the book. [$12]

Tarlou, J.M. (2001). The "everything" baby's first food book. Holbrook, MA: Adams Media Corporation.

As a food writer in the food industry, Tarlou was motivated to write this book when her own son became 8 months old and she began researching baby foods. Her son then turned into a "picky eater" toddler, and she knew that families needed such information. The book, which is loaded with accurate information, is easy to read and well written. [$12.95.]

Ward, E. (2002). Healthy foods, healthy kids: A complete guide to nutrition for children from birth to 6 years old. Avon, MA: Adams Media Corporation.

This book, written by a nutritionist, is a little more dense reading than the other books but is accurate and includes comprehensive with age-specific recommendations for 0-6 years of age. [$14.95]

Yaron, R. (1998). Super baby food (2nd ed., Revised). Peckville, PA: F.J. Roberts.

The authors discuss feeding from starting solids at 6 months through 3 years of age. The book provides rationale for good nutrition along with baby food preparation and storage followed by suggestions for feeding the toddler. Recipes (350) are included throughout. [$19.95]